Anal Glaucoma

Got this joke today...

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that
She is staying home because she is not feeling well.
"What's the matter?" he asks.
"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.
"What is anal glaucoma?"
"I can't see my ass coming into work today.”

This reminds me of this teacher I had that used to say you were suffering from Verbal Diarrhea or Diarrhea of the mouth when you spoke out of turn or talked too much.